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--- Page Below Is Obsolete ---


Help For Majordomo

This page is
http://www.berklix.org/help/majordomo/help.html
By Julian Stacey

  If You Get Stuck

  • First Set Your Mailer To Plain Text Ascii
  • People sometimes fail the first few times with Majordomo: No problem, do Not be discouraged ! Just a simple learning process, give it a few goes, analyse the responses for a few minutes, Succeed after a few tries learning & tell your friends you too learnt OK, & not a lazy moaner smiley face icon

Want To Just Click & Not Think ?

Would you learn to drive a car like that ?

  • Would you jump in a car like a clueless monkey, jerk pedals, levers & wheel, and Crash ?
  • Would you complain to a garage mechanic 'cos a fuel pump jumped in the way of your car ?
  • When there was a Free car wash machine would you obstinately refuse to use it ?
  • Would you beg, scream & threaten a garage mechanic demanding an unpaid manual car wash ?
  • A mechanic who freely maintained a Free Car Wash, would regard you with contempt.
  • Similarly, Do Not ask the administrator of the Free Mail Robot to waste his time unpaid, doing your subscription work for you, because you'r too lazy. Do It Yourself !
  • Those too lazy to learn who also complain are wasters, complaints worthless, & automaticaly silently deleted unseen.
Try Reading, Experimenting, Thinking & Retrying till you succeed.

This page Below here is not yet merged.
Some content repeated, as
I Have No Time, So.
Do Not ask me for my non existant free time to help you.


  • Do Not ask list or robot owner to waste his/her time unpaid, because you are too lazy to learn, thus wilfully ignorant.
  • Learn to use the Free Majordomo It always works correctly, & never fails,
    It is Always people too lazy to Think,
    or people failing to Set Their Mailer To Plain Text Ascii before sending Ascii plain text to Majordomo.
  • Do not mail list or majordomo owner before you try a minimum of 4 mails to Majordomo, analysing responses. Analyse & enclose copies of all 4 attempts to list or robot owner: what you sent Majordomo, what you got back & how you learnt & improved on it: Show you are not another lazy lame brain; Show you really did try to do your own subscription, & gain the sympathy of the list or robot owner to donate his/her time to helping you. Those who do not try hard are Ignored.
  • If you mail the owner using HTML mail, the owner will presume you also failed to Set your mailer to Ascii plain text before mailing Majordomo, so you will be ignored or told:
    Try Majordomo again using a mail tool that you first Set To Plain Text Ascii before you send Ascii plain text to Majordomo .
  • If you remain too lazy to learn, thus wilfully ignorant:
    • Realise the list or robot owner's time is NOT free for you to waste. ... Either:
    • Buy someone else, a Beer or cake for advice how to use Majordomo . (Yes a Beer costs less than a pizza, The list or robot owner would prefer you reward others to encourage spread of skill. The list or robot owner does not want you to waste his/her time.) ... Or
    • Cease to be another lazy wilfully ignorant person making lame excuses, & engage brain & Learn to use Majordomo ! ... Or
    • Pay In Advance, Before asking to waste list or robot owner's time.
      • Pay a charity, eg either
        • Red Cross
        • Any other charity that would encourage the list or robot owner to waste his/ her time on you.
        10 Euros & surface post the list or robot owner the receipt stamped by the bank.
      • List owners & robot owner etc never accept payment. Nor will we do internet banking for you, or anything else that involves us wasting our time for you.
      • If you want to waste our time, first You must donate direct to a charity & provide receipt ! (It would make no sense for us to incur the time overhead of receipts, accounting & tax, for trivial amounts from troublesome people who are too lazy & wilfuly ignorant to learn the free robot).
      • Any unsubscribing have already received free service on the list, & should be grateful for what was already received free. They are Not entitled to freely waste the time of list or robo owner to personaly unsubscribe them.
      • The robot never fails, it's Always the human too lazy to learn !
      • Always people wanting to save their time by wasting the list or robot owners time instead, claiming they are too busy, lazy, or dumb & trying to waste list or robot owners time free of charge.
      • List or robot owners are not interested what your excuse is, our time is not yours free to waste.
      • Choose: Spend your time to learn to use the robot or Spend your Money on charity, we list or robot owners have no free time=money to waste.

  • Top Of Majordomo Page

Help

  • Ask some more experienced friend / colleague if you get stuck, (but NOT the Majordomo owner who gets overloaded with admin tasks & help requests !)
  • If you see someone struggling, offer them some advice, & tell them they should in turn advise others what they learnt too.
  • Spread the skill base, so people become self sufficient.

Top Of Majordomo Page

Advice Over A Beer

The Majordomo owner may not mind if you ask advice over a Beer, (if you happen to meet him/her) so you can later yourself cope with Majordomo@ berklix.org but he will Not do subsequent subscription work for you. Instead Email Majordomo@ berklix.org then apply your logic & intelligence to the answer you receive.

Top Of Majordomo Page

Complaints

Do Not Complain !

  • You pay berklix.org nothing & so are formally entitled to nothing in return. Anything you receive is a free gift of services & time from the domain owner, & list or robot owner !
  • You may pay your Internet provider for services but you do not pay Berklix so do Not aggressively demand your non-existent customer rights with Berklix
  • You don't even get advertised at, from berklix.org servers.
  • Majordomo provides you a free service from berklix servers.
  • Neither you nor anyone else pay the majordomo-owner@ or list-owner@ for the time spent administering your lists free of charge.
  • There are many lists under berklix.org, & many people on the numerous lists - it's a statistical inevitability some want to complain.
  • That doesn't mean a complainant is right, some just are anti-social, & like to moan. & attempt to force the world to revolve round their personal preferences, while making no contribution themselves.
  • List & server admin is generally a thankless unpaid pain, so don't make it feel like a waste of time too, please.

If You Must (Sigh!) Complain - Do It Politely, Constructively, Intelligently & above all Educatedly !

  • Ensure your complaint is not due to your own incompetence.
  • Complain to a list-owner@, but avoid complaining to majordomo-owner@ unless you are sufficiently competent to understand the server technical issues.
  • Remember the unpaid list-owner@ or majordomo-owner@ might decide you'r more trouble than you'r worth, & toss you off all groups & lists. Probably not, but they have the power, & their time is Not yours to gratuitously waste, so be polite & constructive.

Don't Complain - Contribute !

  • Majordomo is a free program from contributers: If you are too busy/ lazy/ wilfuly ignorant/ too mean/ to contribute your time or money to enhance, pay others to enhance, or translate   Majordomo program, documentation & help scripts, don't expect others to be interested in wasting their time or money addressing your complaint.
  • Majordomo provides all that many of us need, but yes, nicer functionality will be available some day:

Top Of Majordomo Page

Problems & Complaints

  • Learn to Help Yourself with Majordomo
  • Sorry, The Majordomo owner Has No Free Time To Help You

    Too Many People : There were 700 addresses on the server at last look , most are not computer competent, & would like peridioc free personal help from a human, if they could get it free of charge, when they can't be bothered to learn how to use Majordomo. That's too many People ! The administrator is Not Paid by anyone ! He only runs the server, He is NOT a free help desk for you ! Learn to Help Yourself with Majordomo
  • Instead the Majordomo owner reserves his/her personal time for writing help pages such as for Majordomo, & spends time maintaining & enhancing the mail list server infrastructure. The Majordomo web page & robot are Free, so use them !
  • If you don't understand. ask some friend, Not Me.
  • Offer your friends money, Beer, or food to help you.
  • Do Not Ask Me For Help
  • I am a freelance consultant,
  • My `free' time is scarce, valuable, & not yours to waste.
  • I am not paid to help you,
  • I am not here to help you,
  • I have no liability to help you.
  • I cannot afford time to help you, Sorry.
  • DO NOT ASK TO CONSUME MY TIME
    • Very many know me, & would like to ask me for occasional help - Thank goodness they do Not !
    • Think what a constant waste of time that would amount to for me !
    • I reserve my time for the demanding stuff others don't do: Server hardware, software, configurations & documentation,
    • Plus I help organise lots of events for various clubs,
    • I give enough of my time away free.
    • Do Not ask to consume my time. Go ask someone else !
  • I have no Time for clueless people who are too lazy to first try hard to help themselves.
  • Do Not Ask Me to help you
  • My free time is very limited, & not for individuals to consume. Many others can help clueless individuals.
  • I am a freelance computer consultant,

Your Solutions

  • It's Your problem to master Your mailer software, it's no one else's problem, you have no right to demand free help.
  • Learn to drive your mailer properly, or get a better one, & learn that instead.
  • If you didn't choose your mailer, & your company did, ask whoever is responsible for computer support in your company.
  • If your whole company is overloaded, & not enough computer support is available, corporate computer support is purchasable.
  • Ask a more competent friend or colleague who knows your mailer to talk you through how they send Ascii mail.
  • Install an extra mailer on your computer that your friends & colleagues recommend, so they can advise you how to use something they know.
  • Get a friend to visit & install better mailer software on your PC. Or visit a competent friend & see how they install & use their mailer to send Ascii.
  • Try a different mailer at an Internet cafe
  • Visit a friend/ colleague, connect to the net with their computer rather than yours, probably using your login name & password, & use their mailer to send & confirm Ascii subscribe mail to & from Majordomo
  • Tell a friend/ colleague your account & password, & get them to use their computer to mail the Majordomo subscribe/ unsubscribe & receive & respond to the authorising confirmation that Majordomo requires. Later if you want, change you password to something new.
  • Don't whine, (as a few have), that you don't want to give your password away, even though you'r also too lazy to learn. Friends or colleagues are more likely to offer to help those who are stuck, if they show proof of having tried to think for them-self.
  • Some people labour under a delusion born perhaps of a mixture of incompetence, laziness & wishful thinking: that it's a list or robot owner's unpaid obligation to waste time to help them subscribing & un-subscribing,
  • Some groups have consumed far more time per head than all other lists. Too much time for too long. Free subscription help is no longer available. The robot is free, but for Human Consultancy Time it's Cash (Or Beer) In Advance !
  • People invest time & money to learn to drive a car ... Yet when people buy a computer, they're often too lazy & mean, to invest time or money to go to computer night classes, training courses, read a mailer manual, read a Majordomo help page, or even think hard, trying to solve simple computer usage puzzles - such as how to send Ascii mail.
  • "Engage Brain & Think" is not optional. If a few are both too wilfully ignorant & too lazy to learn to subscribe or unsubscribe, that's their problem. Others not too lazy, who just need help, should look at Your Solutions above, and at the Majordomo page.
  • Start reading, experimenting, thinking, learning ! smiley face icon

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